Health

Health jokes

Balance

    • An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.

    So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.

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    • Grape

    • What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

    "Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

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    • Bear

    • Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.

    What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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    • Mayo

    • If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

    Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

    Cancer

    • If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."

    Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.

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    • Dog

    • What do you give a dog with a fever?

    Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!

    Grandma

    • My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.

    She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭