Health jokes
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this shit!"
If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.
Why did the tomato blush?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
My grandpa died to ligma :(
LIGMA BALLS!
Why is 2020 the worst year? Because COVID-19!
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.
She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.
I got kicked out of a hospital once. I told all the COVID patients to stay positive.