Have jokes
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?
Who needs sex when they have Valorant?
Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣
Why did NASA have to go to space? Because space is lonely.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Hey, don’t Orpheus have friends because people do have family?
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.