Have jokes
Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
Mike Pence should have been eaten like Trump fans were saying!
Guys, I have a dilemma. I'm a beta, please help!
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
What can't play home in baseball? They don't have one.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't have a home plate.
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why are orphans always so successful? Because when they're told "go big or go home," they only have one option.
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?
Me: Maybe I can hang later...
Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.