Have jokes
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz."
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.