Have To jokes
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Well, you don't have to cry about it, Gary.
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.
Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."
My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."
There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.
The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
Yo mamma so old that when she farts, we have to dust again.
I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.
Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Girl: Wanna come over to my house?
Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."
A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.