When you have to fight an emo kid but he brings his friends so you gotta fight the suicide squad. But you gotta get da bois to help you
GIRL: wanna come over to my house ORPHAN: i have to ask if my parents come home
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet
dont you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water cause your dad wont bring the fucking milk? cuase same
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them Sound familiar🤔 Well in september 11th...
The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then ask him can I have some your burrito he said yeah. I said whatever. A few minutes my mom told me to cut the lawn I said why do I have to do it that why he there for. My mom said he going to do the burrito for me then I said okay. I finish cutting the lawn I wen tin the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom what are you doing my mom said what does it look like. I having my burrito. The landscaper told me that I miss a spot while cutting the lawn.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.” Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor
I hope youi have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God. It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Kid at wish I wish I could be Batman doctor okay shoots mum and dad doctor I guess now you’ll have to be gay you wanted to be like Batman
My gf told me i have to be more in touch with my feminine side. So i crashed the car
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while and then we'll go to bed...🥱🥹🥺
Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you.. From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.
family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight
Dad: no Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Why did nasa have to go to space because space is lonely
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
