So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
Teacher: Kids what are something you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friend to make me happy. Teacher: What about you Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
Why are feminists jealous of men? because men don't have to stand up to piss
So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."
if a toy from toy story died, the kid wouldn't know and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse
What were the terroist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it we can’t go under it we'll have to go through it
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm “This place looks scary” they kid said And the man replies” I know right, I have to walk out of there alone”
Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say black paint anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall"
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.
If prostitution had a tax exempt status and if a adult book store had a tax exempt status because of a glory hole churches would have to do something else to keep their tax exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
What's worse than locking your keyes in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
