Have To jokes
I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?
Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
Qwen, I have to tell you something, so say "hi" and I will tell you.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing today? Did I have to text more today after dinner? I did text, and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠. Night is so nice 👍. I did not walk away, but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home, can you walk?
Why can’t orphans go on “go big or go home?”
Cuz they’d always have to go big as they have no home.
Why can an orphan not do school work?
Because they have to take their work home to their parents.
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
According to the Police report, what did one traffic signal say to the other?
"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light..."
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today, and I have to...
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
My love for you is like poop.
Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.
Do I like playing Russian Roulette? Gun to the head, I'd have to say no.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they have to run back to home base.
If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.