Have To jokes
Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡
Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐
Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬
Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱
Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*
Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤
Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨
Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠
Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤
Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮
Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫
Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Do I like playing Russian Roulette? Gun to the head, I'd have to say no.
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
"Prince???? Where are you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we anyway? (I love you so much!)"
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?
Because they can't be home schooled.
A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.
The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
Qwen, I have to tell you something, so say "hi" and I will tell you.
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.
Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?
I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.