Harris jokes
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
Memes
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
My friend Harry.
Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?
She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.
"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"