Harris jokes

What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?

Fetus Deletus!

"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"

"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"

What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?

A ginger with friends.

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

Running, JK rolling!

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

For all the Harry Potter fans:

A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.

Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?

What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?

Harry Potter.

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

The Harry Potter fanbase.

Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.

Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!

When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.

If Joe Biden and Kamala Harris jump off a cliff, who survives?

Americans...

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?

Coldemort!

What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!

What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.

Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?

Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.