Happening Jokes

I don't ever really bother women, but when I do I usually just want to talk, I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5 , I get shutdown so fast , I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring

What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake. She died the next weekend.

Jesus and his friend went fishing they both cast the line out and both of them get a bite but Jesus's friend misses and says "damn I missed" jesus said "that's a bad sentence to say if you say it 3 time something bad will happen to you" they cast it out again and both get a bite and Jesus's friend misses again and says "damn I missed" jesus replied "if you say that one more time something bad will happen" they cast out again and Jesus's friends line snaps and he says "damn I missed" jesus said "that's the last time something bad will happen" the biggest thunder storm ever seen appeared and a lightning bolt struck jesus and a voice came from the clouds "damn I missed"

Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?

No, what happened?

He couldn’t stop pootin!

Why do your orphans don’t drink beer. Because last time they did he went to suck some dudes toes then he try to take him to his parents but I guess that never happened

All of the sudden if your republican your raciest and Communism is a symbol of freedom what happened to the proud men our founding fathers were damit!

What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?

She slurs her words...

I wrote this joke in the 1970s sometime in Denver, Co CAL - 2021 - Orlando, Fl

What happens when a cow masturbates? Beef Jerky

(A scientist time travels into the year 2024) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?

Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back,". The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking. The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says "step on a line and you break your father's spine,". The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE,". The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?

What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe? He found that he had a piece in his sole!!

I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets. He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted Roblox. One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury. One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignore it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened. The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!" Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too.