Happening

Happening jokes

Duck

Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.

Renovation

What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?

It'll be udder renovation!

People

What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?

It's a motherfucking shitshow party!

Life

Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!

Memes

Cheetah

What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?

The cheetah became spotless!

Father

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

Chef

Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?

He pasta-way...

Leper

What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?

He strained himself.

Penaldo

I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!

Daddy

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

Coincidence

In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.

Spaghetti

What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?

You cook spaghetti with his blood!

Elbow

What happens when you have dry elbows at work?

You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.

911

911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.

Time for a remake!