Halloween jokes
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
Memes
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?
A witch laughing its head off.
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had "no-body" to go with.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.