Halloween Jokes

So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.

Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at Halloween.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

no one could tell that it was their blood.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.

Jake this ine for you

A slightly out-of-focus image of Elmo with the text, "When you've killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a stake when you start to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy."

What would you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"

What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?

Harlem, New York.

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

What do orphans be on Halloween?

They be themselves.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"

I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?

What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.

What is a ghost's favorite cake?

I scream cake!

I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻