Halloween jokes
I'm not racist, my best friends are black for Halloween. :)
Halloween. The day we celebrate your face.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
Guys, what should I be for Halloween (aka tomorrow)?
Tis the season to be spooky.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
I’m back and have a joke my friend said!
Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.
Person 2: What was it?
Person 1: He went as himself.