On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
Guys, what should I be for Halloween (aka tomorrow)?
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
Boo! 👻🎃💀🕷️🕸️☠️ (So scary, right?)
I usually hang up Halloween decorations,
but this year I'm gonna be the decoration.
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
yo mama so ugly people dress up as HER on halloween
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
