HA jokes

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."

Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?

Neither has he.

What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?

"Freak out!"

Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”

Because every play has a cast.

Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.

SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.

EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

My grandpa has the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."

What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don’t care if she has one.

What do you call a deer that has no eyes?

No eye deer.

What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.

What has 4 legs and two gloves?

All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️

A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.

What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.

Who has no home?

Orphans.

How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?

When it leaves you and never comes back.

"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."