HA Jokes

A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.

What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.

What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."

Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?

A cartoon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper shows a boy named Calvin drawing himself in a tank. He draws himself firing the tank at a school building where kids are jumping out the window. Miss Wormwood comes to stop him. In the last panel, Calvin's teacher Miss Wormwood is shown taking a drawing from a student and making a comment about public schools.

Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.

What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?

"Freak out!"

Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”

Because every play has a cast.

SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.

EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."

What has 2 arms but no legs?

A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.

What is the shortest month of the year?

May, it only has 3 letters!

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in some laundry...

Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?

My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.

The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,

honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.