HA jokes
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.
Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.
Memes
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
McDonald's has a drive through.
Twin Towers has a fly through.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
Who has no home?
Orphans.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?
McDonald's has a drive-thru.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
A baseball player has a home to run to.
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
What is the difference between an orphan and a phone?
A phone has a home button.