HA jokes

How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?

When it leaves you and never comes back.

What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?

McDonald's has a drive-thru.

Me: "The villain has a point, you know."

Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:

"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."

What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.

Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3

What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?

A baseball player has a home to run to.

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

What is the difference between an orphan and a phone?

A phone has a home button.

What's the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers?

The Leaning Tower of Pisa has better reflexes.

What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.

What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don’t care if she has one.

What has 4 legs and two gloves?

All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️

What do you call a deer that has no eyes?

No eye deer.

What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?

One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.

What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?

Prince Andrew's victims.

Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?

Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.

Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?

Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.