HA

HA jokes

Difference

What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?

McDonald's has a drive-thru.

Woman

What has 2 arms but no legs?

A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.

Life

I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.

Wife

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

Dog

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

Memes

Class

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.
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    • HA memes

    Depression

    Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

    Penis

    Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?

    The black one... he's 13!

    Movie

    Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3

    Russia

    It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

    He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

    Priest

    What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?

    The devil always has horns... not just around children.

    Yo mama

    I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.

    Father

    A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

    One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

    COVID-19

    The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

    They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

    Crush

    If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)

    Sense

    A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

    Mix

    I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.

    I call it my trail mix.