HA jokes

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.

But she so ugly people are repelled by her.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple has a family tree.

What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?

One has a home to run to.

What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

When you name yourself "Twin Towers" and the terrorist in Kahoot.

Twin Towers are on fire.

The terrorist has a streak of two.

"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"

What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.

Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.

A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.

My grandpa has the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

McDonald's has a drive through.

Twin Towers has a fly through.

What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.

Who has no home?

Orphans.

How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?

When it leaves you and never comes back.

What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?

McDonald's has a drive-thru.

Me: "The villain has a point, you know."

Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:

"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."