Guy jokes

What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.

Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

Hey guys,

I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!

A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

The next day, he could see only one color... black.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.

He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"

Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."

What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?

They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.

What does a French guy say when he falls off?

Oh no, Eiffel!

A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"

Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?

But he really saved the History Channel.

If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."

Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?

He won the no-Bell prize.

What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?

The Spy Guy!

German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.

American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.

African XP farms: Cotton field.