I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
Guy Jokes
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.
What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
Guys, look at the comments, omg!
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
Guys, comment below if I should do a name reveal!
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
A guy walks into an AA meeting and asks for a road map.
