Guy jokes
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
Memes
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?
He won the no-Bell prize.
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.