Guy jokes
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.
A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.
Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.
Me be straight and bored.
Goes to my local bar which has a glory hole.
Out up spending the rest of the night there.
About to leave when, motherfucker, I realize I've been sucking a guy's cock this whole time.
):
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?
He won the no-Bell prize.