Guy jokes
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
Memes
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?
He won the no-Bell prize.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."