Guy jokes

I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.

The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.

You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!

A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage!

Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

Why would a dead guy lie?

Because he can't stand up.

Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.

A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.

Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).

What do you call it when Panera is over?

Panera end.

A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"

"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.

"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"

"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"

Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."