Guy

Guy jokes

Wheelchair

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

Audience

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

Drink

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

Luck

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

Sleep

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

Memes

Tree

I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"

Pakistan

People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...

Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.

Library

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

Traffic

Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.

Robber

Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?

A black guy.

Body

Disabled

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?

He's all right.

Son

A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"

"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.

"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"

"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"

Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."

School

Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.

Dad

Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."

The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."

First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"

Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."

Cop

A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"

The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."

The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."