Guy jokes

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage!

Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

Why would a dead guy lie?

Because he can't stand up.

I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.

The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"

A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.

Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.

Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).

What do you call it when Panera is over?

Panera end.

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.

A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"

"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.

"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"

"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"

Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."

Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.

Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."

The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."

First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"

Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."

Gay jokes are not funny, CUM on guys!