Guy jokes
Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.
Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE
Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?
Because they don't have titties.
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
Random guy: Do you know Dee?
Other dude: Who’s Dee?
Random guy: Dee Snuts!
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
Ayo fake guy.