Guy Jokes

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

How are guys and tile floors alike?

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.

Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).

What do you call it when Panera is over?

Panera end.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.

A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage!

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.

You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.

Son: Dad, what's dark humor?

Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?

Son: No, I'm blind.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

What's the worst TV series for orphans?

Family Guy.

I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.

The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.