Guy Jokes

So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage

A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...

guys we should not make fun of 9/11 like that stuff is just plane out crazy like you all should not let that fly

hey guys wish me luck on my game AI-Nassr vs RaedAl-Raed. and i have 604 million followers on instagram but we are not gonna be able to beat that but can we get to 69 followers please and thankyou

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

I told a crippled guy he is immortal cause he cant kick the bucket

I think abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind

Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights Girl: No how Guy: All you need is a blank paper and that's it

Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted? It was quite a shocker.

So a blind guy is sitting on a park bench his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guys leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat. A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man. That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit. The blind man says Oh it’s not what you think I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the Ass.

What’s the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.

3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"