Guy jokes

Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?

It was quite a shocker.

Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"

What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?

He said, "Fuck this shit!"

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.

Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.

A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."

What do you call a guy from India calling you?

A scammer.

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website.

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!

I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.

We started playing rocket league.

How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. They hire me to do it.

About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...

He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.

The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”