Back
Guy

Guy jokes

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

EVERYONE:

"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.

Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?

Random guy: Why?

Me: Because you look like a whale.

How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.

How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

It would just be easier to be a gay guy, instead of a gender-fluid bisexual.

How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."

Love y'all so much!

A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."

He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."

Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."

Hey guys! Ello here with an update!

I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!