There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.
What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.
Guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells:who the fuck fucked my wife. Everybody silent for a second then the bartender said:mate you ain't got enough bullets
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A Watergun.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A Water gun.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
