Gun jokes

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?

What?

A nail gun!

Africa has every type of gun but one...

A water gun.

What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?

One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.

I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...

What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa?

A water gun.

How do you get a clown off your swing?

You shoot it.

Why are school shooting jokes so funny?

Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!

Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.

What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.

What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.

Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.

1, 2, I have a gun.

3, 4, I am in a school.

5, 6, Everyone on the ground!

A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"

Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

One of the students reported a school shooting.

That fucking snitch...