Growing Jokes

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up that little shit wants to be gone down an alley

Does money grow on trees........no What is money made of.........paper What is paper made out of............................TREEEEES

My girlfriend is growing watermelons not in the ground though (we had fun that night)

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

Teacher says okay class today were gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up Little Johnny how about you go first. Little jonny: " I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

what did the big tree say to the little one? grow a pear!

Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?

They only have 4.

So you're offended by midget jokes? C'mon grow up!

Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard? - so they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.

i used to hate foot fungus, but now its growing on me

My mom told me to get a job, so I did. One day my mom saw me I had money my mom ask me where did you get that money, my mom ask me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom ask me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the the guys some ans see you one by one and I get paid for it. My mom said your growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see in the shower.

What is common with dark humour and unvaccinated kids? - Neither do ever grow old.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up? Kid 1: I want to be a fire fighter kid 2: I want to be a police officer kid 3: i want to be dead like both my parents Teacher: ok everyone pull out your books Kid 4: are we going to ignore what he said? Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

There were three babies in a moms stomach. One baby asks, “what do you want to be when you grow up” The other baby answers, “a doctor I want to help people, what about you” “I want to be an engineer, I want to make things, what about you” he asks to the third baby. “I want to be a hunter”. “Why” the other babies ask. “I want to kill the snake that spits on my face”

The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow’ He commented “What the hell is wrong with you”and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.” He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”