Growing jokes
Bully: Shut up.
Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."
This joke never gets old. Just like the child.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
What's bald and can't grow no hair?
A kid with cancer.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to GROW his fan base.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.
Then it hit me.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Why did the rapper take up gardening?
Because they wanted to GROW their FLOW.
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
When Stephen Hawking's teacher asked him, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
He said, "Six foot four."