you know the phrase "one mans trash is another mans treasure"great phrase,Bad way to find out your adopted
bro stop u guys r saying the same jokes over and over if ur gonna tell a 9/11 joke just go lagh about the great thumps
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day. It was impossible to put down.
Man: aw man im having a bad day Man's friend:same Man:so why did you have a bad day my brother got hit by the school bus Man's friend: i got fired as a bus driver Man: oh great heavens
your forehead and your hairline must be great freinds cuz they go way back
Me- y’all should start calling 1943 Friend- why Me-cause im going through my owb Great Depression
Your hair line be looking like the Great Recession
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient. He was a great vet.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck.”
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "when i cook i make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the reciepe?
In a detective novel.
Trump said: Let's make America great again. Translation by democrats: Let's fake America again.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
Imagine there’s a funny joke here..imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum cause you’re schizophrenic.
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Becuase it's wheely wheely great!
My grandpa died in 911 ,he was a great pilot
A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.
The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.
Fishing is like sex when it is great it is great when it is not so great it is still great!
*a married woman gets hit by a truck and the cops tell her husband Cop: sir, it looks like your wife’s been hit by a truck Man; I know but she has a great personality
