Great jokes

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

My great grandpa killed Hitler.

With great depression comes great antidepressants.

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

Sex is like pizza.

When it’s hot, it’s great.

When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,

It's great being a sniper.

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.

He was a great πthon.

Hi guys, I just found this website. I got emailed by joshisboss or something. Have a great day! 👍

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

A man goes into a job interview and sits down.

The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"

The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"

The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"

The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."

Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.

Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.

Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.

Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.

Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.

I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.

Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.

The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.

What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?

One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!

It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"

Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?

Because it was the Great Depression.