Great jokes
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!
Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
My great grandpa killed Hitler.
Me all the time :
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
With great depression comes great antidepressants.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
Hi guys, I just found this website. I got emailed by joshisboss or something. Have a great day! 👍
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.