Grammar jokes

One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"

I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."

The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.

I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because seven eight (ate) nine.

I have 25 friends in the alphabet.

But I don't know why.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate nine.

A single sentence walks into a bar.

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.

An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.

It was tense.

Woman jokes aren't funny, period.

The past, present, and future walk into a bar.

It gets really tense.