Grammar jokes
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡
Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐
Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬
Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱
Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*
Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤
Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨
Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠
Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤
Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮
Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫
Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
What comes after 69?
Period.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"
Nothing.
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Your Roblox friend counts to 10, but she doesn't count to "too." Then Roblox says: "Damn. Your Roblox friend can't count."
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."