Grammar

Grammar Jokes

Age

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

Comma

Whatโ€™s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

Roman

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"

Idiot

If you donโ€™t know the difference between their, there, and theyโ€™re, then you're an idiot.

Comma

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Antidote

Itโ€™s important to establish a good vocabulary.

If I had known the difference between the words โ€œantidoteโ€ and โ€œanecdote,โ€ one of my best friends would still be alive.

Wordplay

Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."

Girlfriend

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

Friend

Your Roblox friend counts to 10, but she doesn't count to "too." Then Roblox says: "Damn. Your Roblox friend can't count."

Mistake

Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"

Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."

Panda

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

Life

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

Orphan

What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?

They both have no meaning.