What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
You.
Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.”
Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...”
Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.”
Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’”
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.
I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.
What is the plural of goose? Geese.
What is the plural of foot? Feet.
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
What did the pen say to the pencil? You have a point.
Dan, I'd bent.
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
Impossible? I’m very possible, really!
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
Say: Eye Spell: Map Say: Ness
I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.
Do you know your E?
You're E tarded.
What is the difference between a comma and a period?
A comma gives you a pause, but a period gives you sleep.
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).
