Grammar jokes
1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”
2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.
3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
Hey, I have a joke!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of its clause!
The F in orphan stands for family.
Wait, there is no F. (F)
Spell IHOP, then say "ness."
Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?
Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?
Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
You.
Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.”
Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...”
Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.”
Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’”
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.
I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.
What is the plural of goose? Geese.
What is the plural of foot? Feet.
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
What did the pen say to the pencil? You have a point.
Dan, I'd bent.
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
Impossible? I’m very possible, really!