Government jokes

Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)

Your mom is so ugly Biden likes her.

Healthcare these days is a bit of an Obamanation.

Why are Communists considered the left?

Because they can’t do anything right.

What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.

Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.

Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.

Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.

Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.

Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.

Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.

Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.

Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)

Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.

Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.

Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.

Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.

Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.

So it is women who have more rights.

So shut up, feminists, please.

Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.

Condoms 99 percent effective.

Birth control 99 percent effective.

Etc.

Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)

How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.

Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?

Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.

The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.

What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.

What did the Brit say to the American?

Well here comes fascism.

Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?

No, what happened?

He couldn’t stop pootin!

Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!

Yo mama is Obama.

Trump really fractured the US with his 1/6 insurrection...

What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?

A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.

Trump, just why?

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

Scientist time travels into the year 2024.

Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?

Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?