Government jokes
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
What did Obama ask Trump?
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
Putin's Brain:
Instead of Obama, it was supposed to be Osama. Pretending I got their names mixed up.
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!
What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).
I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].