Good jokes
Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"
Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!
Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!
Good luck, Jake.
Why did the duck say hi to the other butt?
Because he wanted it to smell good.
I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.
Why?
I don’t have a clue.
A guy once went hunting at a Hunting Ranch owned by a Hunter and his Wife. After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in Rancher’s Living-room. There they were having a grand ole time until the Rancher’s wife walks in. The Hunter looks at her and says “that’s a nice piece of ass you got your self there.” The Rancher replied “(with a harsh southern accent from years of cigarette smoke) You’ve never been so right in your life, honey why don’t show our guest your tits.” She agrees and then shows the hunter her plump DD cup breast. After he gets a good gander he says “Nice.” Then Rancher shouted “show em yer peker now Hon.” She agreed and whipped out a 13inch Johny, and twirled it around like how an Elephant would move his. Now dazed and confused the Hunter yells out “What in Sam Hill is that!!” and the Rancher replied “Now....Lemme tell you..There ain’t a thing like it”.
What would good be if it was a place?
It would be a desert because it had too many droughts!
What is a good nut?
A magic nut!
A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"
The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"
The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"
The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"
The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."
The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.
As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"
A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
They say the polar ice caps are melting, good, because my wife's a fat, cold bitch.
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.
Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”
Shame on you, Pessi!
I just want to say good morning to Gwen and everyone on this site. Have a nice day.
What if it's okay if someone can see my blue jokes, hello, bully, love, crazy, and Ariana jokes? Thanks!