Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
Like this,
it will give you good luck. See for yourself!
These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
How do you call a very good lemonade?
Fantatastic!
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
Do you play COC?
Because it’s a pretty good game.
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.
I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
