friend: how's it going? me: good, things are good! parent: how are you? me: oh I'm fine! Twitter: compose new tweet? me: hellooooo l would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pisa? The Leaning Tower of Pisa has good reflexes
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?They’re always spotted
My sister told me she like Medusa. I said h. My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy facial expression and when the look down they do nothing, but stay still.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in Ethnic Cleansing.
Who were the people that survived 9/11? The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump
Guy: Hi, how was your day today. Woman: Good! Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant* Guy: How many months pregnant are you? Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also I’m not pregnant.
why are nazis so good at soccer?
Because they're so good at shooting
*family are together playing charades*
Me: 50 Shades of Grey! Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on nan!
Angel is a good word
Why is a waiter good at math?..... Because it he knows his TABLES .🤣🤣
I did a good job of being home from school 🏫
What is a good night sleep tight I have for
Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do what a good night of a good
yo mama so fat it took nationwide three years to get on her good side
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him. I asks him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised, he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? A good start :)
white people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kil them, rape them and enslave them* natives: can y- white people: hey you remember all that horrible shit we did to you lets have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives
Imagine going up to a emo and saying your just like a spider your both good at hanging
