Good jokes

Dad: How was your trip to the park?

Daughter: It was good until the man came along.

Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?

Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...

Dad: Oh God, what next?

Daughter: Nothing, that was it.

Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!

Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?

Tj: Good... you?

Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!

Tj: 😏.

Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!

Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?

Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.

Tj: NO!!!!!!

1 day later.

Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩‍👧‍👦

Your hairline so far back.

Even LeBron James had a good laugh!

A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"

Why are Germans so good at cleaning?

They have experience in ethnic cleansing.

What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?

“Good evening, ladies.”

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!

I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.

What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?

"Good Lord, this is fun!"

Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!

Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?

Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

I like dicks... sporting goods.

Why was the orphan so good at baseball?

Because his coach said, "Go long or go home."

"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.

"Give me the good news first," the patient said.

"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."

"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"I've been trying to reach you for two days."

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."