What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
Goes Jokes
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.
When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.
When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
It's supposed to say "goes," not "goes."
My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.
What's the sharpest thing in the world?
A fart... it goes straight through your pants without leaving a hole.
"Nananananananannanananananannananananaanan, that's how music goes!"
Yo mama so fat, when she takes an elevator, it ALWAYS goes down!
Bomb goes Uno.
Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.
