Goes Jokes

A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde, when she turns him down , he goes to her and says " C'mon I'm a fun guy" .

I aced my poker test...

my teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...

A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffee-n...

do you get my puns... no, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...

Ur hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it and it goes so far back that you be looking like vegeta.

When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion

When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.

A guy gets home from work to seeing his gf packing and he asks her why are you packing and the girl says cause i found out your a Pedophilia and the guy goes a Pedophilia and she says yes and the guy goes thats a big word for a 12 year old

It's supposed to say goes not goes

My friends man has seegures so goes who won their break dancing tournament

What type of fish goes best with peanut butter? Jellyfish!

nannananananannanananananannananananaanan that how music goes

You are so Ugly Santa goes ho ho ho holy Sh it

What's the sharpest thing in the world ?

A Fart..it goes straight through your pants without leaving a hole .

Yo mama so fat, when she takes an elevator, it ALWAYS goes down!

Bomb goes UnO

Guy goes to the doctors doctor says you look ran down and the guy says no I've come on my bike

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A Canadian, an American and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.

They were given everything they needed to succeed and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.

The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration, he spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.

The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.

The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water and beat the shit out of him every single day.

When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.

The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything, I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."

The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get and yet he won't speak!".

The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"

The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!".

3 men go to hell, Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer you go to heaven. The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers he goes to hell, the next man asks if he knew how to make furniture he goes too, the third man poke a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said " nope this one "😂

So this guy right, he has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog. About 2 weeks after he loses everything he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "what do you mean by 'blowing chunks' ?" says the boss. The man replies with, " Chunks is the name of my dog..."