Departure jokes

I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."

They say they'll stay, but I left first.

Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?

A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?

I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!

An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.

Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.

When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

A Muslim enters a building...

Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.

I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?

"Want me to pack your shit?"

I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.

You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.

I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.

Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

What did Jake say to Peggy?

"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"

lol they left.

Americans leave without saying goodbye.

Russians say goodbye without leaving.

What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?

A doggone catastrophe!

#GOODBYEGWEN

What did the poo say to the ass?

"I left you."