God's Will

God's Will Jokes

Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.

Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.

Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.

Conclusion: Therefore he exists.

Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?

Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.

Dad: She had to take the deep penis.

Son: Umm...... WHAT!?

Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.

Dad: Oh for god's sakes.

Dad: Epi Pen.

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

What did God say when he created the first black person?

"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."