God's Will jokes

A fat man coming in the store.

Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

Orphan: I'm an orphan.

Technoblade: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,

'Cause she was transgender.

When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"

Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂

Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:

God: No, I don’t want to.

What’s the difference between God and Hitler?

God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.

Do y'all love Jesus, God? 🙏❤️

Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?

Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.

Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.

Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.

Conclusion: Therefore he exists.

Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)

Me: God, no, help!

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.

You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.

Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.

God: *SILENCE*

Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!

God: *SILENCE*

Why is my anus burning?

'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!

Orphan: Where are my parents?

God: New York City.

Orphan: But they used to live in China.

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"