God's Will jokes

Orphan: I'm an orphan.

Technoblade: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,

'Cause she was transgender.

Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.

Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂

When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.

Why is my anus burning?

'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"

If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...

Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.

God: *SILENCE*

Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!

God: *SILENCE*

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

Orphan: Where are my parents?

God: New York City.

Orphan: But they used to live in China.

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

God made me pretty, what happened to you?