Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.
God's Will Jokes
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.
"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty, what happened to you?
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Do y'all love Jesus, God? 🙏❤️
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
