People say I LIKE UR CUT G. Which is when u get a fresh cut but I guess when u go bald we can say like ur forehead g
I know it’s really really really really really bad
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you.", in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says "Cool, let me try!", and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says "Superman, you're an asshole."
Why didn't the sun go to college? Because it already had a million degrees!
My dad and cancer go into a fight never saw my dad after that
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What did the Bull say to his son when he was going of to school? BISON!!!!
I was going to tell a 9 11 joke but it was really plane
If you have anger problems hit an Orphan bc who they going to tell not their parents
Dad: ok son if you fail this test your no longer my child ok Son: ok dad AFTER TEST Dad: hay son how'd the test go? Son: son?
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. last time she just let it go.
My frien liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. his mom did too.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? Do you want to go home.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
Bro.. tampons look like sperms and they go up your coochie
me: i have depression
someone: u should get out more! go outside
me: *goes to the beach* now its a tropical depression
me: im home ma heres her with a new dad her: go hang wit someone :me gets the noose goes to fav tree i love you ma 🙂
girl: hey. orphan; hi girl; wanna be friends? orphan: sure girl:ok and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over
