Go jokes

So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.

One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.

Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."

The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."

Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"

1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!

2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!

3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!

4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!

Are these good?

What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler!

Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.

There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.

Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"

PERSON: I need to go so bad!

TOILET: Long time no pee!!!

Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.

What is similar between sex and fishing?

It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.

I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?

Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.

I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the "p" is silent.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

I like my women like I like my microwaves.

Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.

Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.