I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
Micheal Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture..Tonya says.."I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3 year olds"
3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1....2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, "well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples"
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry
knock knock who's there cows go cows go who? no silly cows go moo
where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think "Mom's probably going to kill me"
Why did piglet go to the bathroom? To search for Poo
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common
people go there to fix there mistakes
Why did the orphan go to church? To hear some "foster" Parenting advice.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
i don't get it. orphans are very religious, well mostly. statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church i mean its the only place they can call someone "father"
if your bored joke about an Orphan what are they going to do tell there parents
my teacher: if you could go anywhere where would you go...me: demon slayer. my teacher: why. the quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese Restaraunt. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what is going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
Joker gives batman a phone thomas:uhh son we need to talk... about the uhh dressing up. martha:hello dearie brucie is it ok if you visit me when you go to jokers house
Teacher- "I'll call your mother" Orphan- "go on, see if she picks up
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
