Go

Go jokes

Gym

How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?

Go through the dumbbell door.

Dream Job

Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."

My friends: "What's your dream job?"

Me: "I'm going to die young :))"

Bee

What do bees do when they get married?

They go on a honeymoon.

Adoption

Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!

Memes

Rape

I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

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  • Razor blade

    I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.

    Orphan

    How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

    You make them clap until they go home.

    Bleach

    Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".

    Man

    A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"

    The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".

    The man asks, "Ten what?"

    Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".

    Bathroom

    You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?

    European.

    Cow

    Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!

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  • Trump

    Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!

    Restaurant

    I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.

    Mistake

    what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?

    people go there to fix their mistakes.

    Orphan

    I don't get it.

    Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".