Go jokes
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
Memes
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
Where do people with no legs go to have fun?
Legnoland.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?
Their parents never say yes.
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.