Go jokes
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
Johnny is very attached to his parents. He asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks, "What's that?" The mother replies, "That's my garage." He looks up and asks, "What are those?" The mother responds, "Those are my headlights."
He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad replies, "That's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tells his mother and she says, "You can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed. He gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving. He looks under the covers to investigate and sees them going at it. He then yells, "Mommy, turn on you're headlights, Daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
Why don't orphans like to get lost?
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.
Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?
Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?
Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.
Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.
Son: And you got $0.00.
Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.
I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.
My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.
He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.
If a girl says no twice 🤔.
Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!
Why did Daveon go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling "Daveon" in the dumps.
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"
Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."
Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"
Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."
Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"
Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
Never mind if I told you, it would go straight through your head.
"Beast Boy Four"
Where did Holly go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.