Go jokes
Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
Why does the Sun go to school?
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
What do people say to knights when they go to bed? Good knight!
(DOORS)
What door is the first door that opens for you?
The elevator to go to the game.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
Do you want to go to the pool?
Yes? Well, water you waiting for?
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
Why did the orphan go to rob the bank? Because he wanted to be wanted! >:D
Your mom is so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign because it never said "go."
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.