Go jokes
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.
The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j
Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
Go touch some grass, bro.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.
God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
Why did Dan the orphan go to the orphanage?
Because he was! I couldn't make the homepage website!!
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
Geowipp Grand Prize. And the CHOICE OF FOOD IS INSANE. We love him and we love him.
August is a guy from one of the shops, and we became a sundwich durk through Habin. We have GOT GO GO, IT WAS GRAT. That's why. But we don't do everything.
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Twins.
Twins who?
Twins go boom boom today on 9/11.
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."